whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
