Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
