He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
