i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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