You're completely useless in the revolution.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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