No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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