You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found puke in my bra..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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