you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
