oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
