the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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