That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
