just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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