i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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