He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
