eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
