btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
