like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
