all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My ass is underappreciated
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
