Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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