Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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