K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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