okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
