Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
