Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
