garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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