break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize