Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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