I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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