Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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