Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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