dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
