ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
