What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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