He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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