I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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