Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
