GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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