First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
