did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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