I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
