tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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