"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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