toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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