Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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