i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
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