Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize