I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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