Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
high people should be assigned attendants
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
