marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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