Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
