Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
