im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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