Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
