I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
