absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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