Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
