im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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