that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize