There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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