he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
