What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
